I have purposefully refrained from posting on this ghost site, this shell of the TIBU bones, but now I'm just drunk enough to do so. I've broken, maybe, a woman's heart . . . again. I'm unloveable. Why do they try? It's like a strange kind of self-torture, a strange challenege.
I've discovered the ultimate aphrodisiac: honesty. No, really, hear me out. This isn't like dating strippers or hookers or undercover cops. This is me telling them that I'm not the kind of guy they should be dating. They need someone who hasn't been rotted out from the inside from lost love, who hasn't dedicated their life to debauchery, drinking, sex, smoking, farting in elevators, and other types of subtle vandalism. I do prefer subtlety over, say, gassing and lighting a cop car on fire.
What happens when a woman of my age (40) . . . (ish) . . . discovers a man like myself who is funny, creative, just mean enough to be interesting, just romantic enough to be endearing? No, she doesn't fall in love. Heh. That's for better and more worthy men than myself. She dedicates herself to "companionship". I've become a stop gap measure. I feel like I'm building missiles just to keep up with the Russians. Substitute the word "missile" with "sperm" and you get the general idea.
So I'd like to give a shot out, to all women of my age (40) . . . (ish) . . . who really want true love and a man to knock them up and marry them and give them the white picket fence. I'd like to thank you for settling for me to knock boots with while you wait for someone worthy of your amazing beauty, grace, sweetness, heart and powerful, powerful depth of soul. While all those assholes get their act together, I get to enjoy all the benefits of your years of experience, libido, and deep desire for someone slightly harrier and uglier than yourself to share a meal and / or a bed with.
And best of all . . . there are so many of you.
There's just one of me, but I promise . . . I'm working my way through you all as fast I can before we enter the nursing home.
Read the damn COMIC!!!