TASTE THE PAIN

I’ve got two feelings: bad and worse

And I still don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse

Those in the ground pray for those trapped above it

There are people who are dying, but still alive, claim to love it

As I sit, steeped in my drink

Only a fool is wise enough not to think

Even if I locate every answer

It still won’t keep me from dying of cancer

Love is an involuntary

Descent into co-dependency

I feel sad and I feel scared

And I kind of wish that I wasn’t there

Taste the metal

Taste the pain

Pause for effect

And then taste it again

All fucked-up and ravaged

And with much similar damage

And a commensurate challenge

An equal taste for sin

The same days wasted

In the same ways tasted

The bad flavors pasted

That I painted my life in

Where were you when I didn’t know where I was?

Where were you when I did it, did it just because?

In my panicked rush

To move it from here to there

to move it on down the line

It was like my mind wasn't there

I think in the end I was

The one really left behind

Those who just stayed

where fate had put them

and had never strayed

may not have been wrong

I sold myself to the invisible wind

and they know that they belong

Chinese philosophies

might still your tongue

But you can’t walk around

with your brain all weak and numb

Nothing will cause a soul to burn

Quite like the lesson you never wanted to learn

Used to think that life had fucked me over

and I wondered why that'd be

then one day I looked in the mirror

and I saw that life was me

Taste the metal

Taste the pain

Pause for effect

Then taste it again

I pray for death,

I pray every day

The sky is empty:

I pray anyway