Girls are constantly coming up to me and asking me. “How many blowjobs should I give in a day?”
“How many have you given today?” Is the first question I always ask. When they tell me, I reply it’s that number + 1.
This formula works well for the girls that ask me that question, since they are imaginary.
However, if you happen to be flesh and blood, then a more scientific answer is needed.
The average male ejaculation is 35 calories of mostly protein, and 0 fat. So if a girl gives a few blowjobs a day it’s a very healthy source of protein and unless she’s on a very strict diet, it’s healthy for all involved.
When she starts give over 10 blowjobs a day on a regular basis, 350 calories, she should start to look into changing her diet to account for the extra calories. Luckily because it’s mostly calories from protein a moderate exercise program (I suggest strength training the arm that isn’t used to stroke the dick during the blowjob) will keep the body from turning it into fat.
When she starts giving over 42 to 43 blowjobs a day, on a regular basis it starts becoming a health concern, 1500 calories a day from protein can throw the body out of wack, unless she starts following a bodybuilders routine of strength training 3 hours a day.
When she starts giving over 71 to 72 blowjobs a day she starts having to worry about her nutritional intake. By getting the majority of her calories from sperm, her body would be deprived of vitamin C and she would risk getting scurvy, which can lead to liver spots, Spongy gums, bleeding gums, sunken eyes and nosebleeds. The bleeding gums and nosebleeds can seriously interfere with her blowjob schedule.
This was a problem that English Gentleman would run into, Dr James Lind in 1753 found that the effects of scurvy could be treated by eating lots of citrus fruit. That’s how the English became known as Limey Cocksuckers.
As long as she uses small amounts of something like banana cream on the dicks she sucks, combined with vitamin supplements she should be fine as long as she works out regularly.
When she starts giving over 100 plus blowjobs a day, the body has to do serious work to deal with the amount of protein she is receiving. The protein must be broken down into amino acids then into glucose in order to be used as an energy source. This takes time and can not be done fast enough to meet her bodies energy requirements making her body use up her fat reserves. Once they are depleted her body will no longer be able to produce the energy requirements needed to sustain basic life processes. This process of breaking down proteins into glucose also builds up ammonia, which the body has a hard time in getting rid of, a large buildup of ammonia is poisonous.
As with all dietary health issues, these problems only happen if a girl makes the blowjobs a major part of her diet. If a girl decides to splurge once in a while and give a few hundred blowjobs over a weekend the body can easily compensate for the extra protein.
Disclaimer: As with all diet and exercise programs, please consult your doctor before starting on a blowjob diet plan. If you do decide to go on a blowjob diet plan and cannot afford a doctor, I’m sure there is some doctor some where that will be glad to work something out with you.
This was originally posted at the old TIBU site and now no one will take it, I think it deserves a home. At least a few more laughs anyway.